I feel like every time I write, I open with, "wow, it's been a long time since I last wrote." This time is different, in that I'm starting with "I feel like every time I write..." Ha ha.
So it's the end of November. We're two weeks away from Michaela being a year old. She went from a little poppy seed to a big, vibrant, happy girl. It's incredible how quickly the year has gone. Someone said to me, about being a mom, "the days are slow, but the years are fast." I totally get that. Some days, I am counting down to 7 p.m., when she usually goes to bed. Then I think about how old Michaela is and my mind is blown all over again.
So, since October, a lot has happened. We went on our cruise, which was very nice. Mike, Michaela and I cruised to Mexico with Mike's mom and stepdad. The trip was a success. I got time to relax (went to the spa, got a massage and a facial) and had a break from the day-to-day, and we all had fun. The grandparents loved spending time with Michaela. Mike and his stepdad took a ton of pictures, which they both enjoy. While on the trip, Michaela started saying "mama," "dada," and "nana."
Our cruise was over Halloween, so Michaela spent her first Halloween dressed adorably as a monkey while heading to paradise. It was very, very warm, so she only wore the costume for about 10 minutes. Nonetheless, we captured the moment with pictures, which was all I wanted.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Michaela had a blast. A total blast. Mike make turkey and all the fixings and I made Michaela a plate of them, which she got to feed herself. She crammed fistfuls of cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey and a roll in her face while Mike and I took pictures. She loved the food and had a lot of fun.
I was less than excited about the way Thanksgiving went down from a family standpoint. We were supposed to go to the Bay Area to spend some time with Mike's grandma. Mike ended up having to work Friday night, so we couldn't drive all the way up to Nor. Cal. and then back in time for him to work. Mike dilly-dallied in letting his grandma know, which I thought was really disrespectful. I was really looking forward to spending time with her, and for her to get to see Michaela (who she hasn't seen since the baby was a month old). So that was a bummer. When we ended up having to stay home, I invited my parents over. They declined. Yup, declined. Just like last year, when I had to call and beg them to come (which they did). So lame. And hurtful.
This year's excuse was that my dad needed to wrap up his moving. Yup, he's moving into my mom's house. Finally. After six years of their living apart.
So back in October, my dad got a call from the woman who owns the house my family has rented for the last 24 years. The house I grew up in. The woman said she was having an inspector come by because she was having the house refinanced. It sounded totally sketchy, because why would you randomly have an inspector come when you haven't been to the house for 20 years? The owner literally never went there, never looked at the state of the property, never put any money into fixing anything up, never... anything. So the whole thing was very fishy. Mike and I seized the opportunity. Mike called the owner and asked her if she was thinking about selling. She stuck to the refi story. Fine. He told her if they needed money, if they were thinking about refinancing, that we (Mike and I) would be interested in buying the place. They talked for quite some time and ended the conversation with her saying we should talk again in the middle of November. We went off on our cruise and when our ship pulled back into San Diego, I called my mom, whol told me that my dad had gotten a registered letter from the owner saying she was selling the house and he had to be out in a month. WHAT?
My parents (Well, now my dad) rent(s) the house, they don't own it. It was the right of the owners to sell their house. I don't blame the owners for selling it. I blame them for the way it went down. Why did the owner lie to my dad? Why did she lie to Mike? Why not call my dad and tel him what the deal was and then follow up with a letter? Really, after renting for 24 years, the way he found out was by a certified letter? The whole thing was totally fucked up.
So my dad, who doesn't deal well with change, was pretty shell shocked. He had to work on clearing out all of his possessions-- mainly cars and car parts, which is the reason he was still living there and not at my mom's house-- and work full time and everything else. Oy. He has been making good progress, and he got a lot of his stuff moved to a storage unit. His non-car personal belongings went to my mom's house. Or should I say, to *their* house.
Now my mom is all freaked out about them moving back in together. For the last six years, all she has been talking about is wanting my dad to move in with her. I'm not sure why, since they hated living together. But now she has her wish. Now don't get me wrong. I don't blame her for being nervous, but I wish for a second, she would at least acknowledge that she's finally getting what she wants. Even though it's a case of "be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
At any rate. My dad gave the excuse that he couldn't come to dinner at our house because he was emptying out his house in preparation for the move. So he didn't come. I talked to my brother, who has a way of offering perspective on family-related situations (that's why I'd like to give Michaela a sibling-- so Michaela has the option of talking to someone else about how crazy Mike and I are). He basically told me I need to give up on inviting them to family stuff. That all of them-- my mom and dad and bro-- love me but show it in a different way and that I need to just meet them where they are and not expect them to meet me where I am. It's good advice. It's also easier said than done.
I was really angry at my dad. He gets so hurt that Michaela cries whenever she sees him. She does that because she doesn't see him very often. Now, she surely will see him more often once my dad moves in with my mom, but for the meantime... But I invite him over, give him the chance to spend time with Michaela, and he turns it down. And it's not just this one time. This happened last year, pre-Michaela. But it also happens all the time now. I invite both of my parents over and they refuse on a regular basis. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I expect more of them than that. Even at the same time I am happy with how good they are when they're with Michaela, I wish they could just be... normal. There, I said it. Normal. Maybe there's no such thing as normal. Maybe I've watched too many sitcoms in my life. But there it is.
Well, on that note... I'm going to go pump. I've been pumping for the last 11 1/2 months. My time with my Pump in Style is drawing to an end. I'm glad, so I can have my body back, but I'm also really proud that I've managed to do so for so long. Michaela may not have been exclusively breastfed, but she had an awful lot of breast milk!
And she's doing really well. She has 8 teeth and more on the way. She laughs, she waves hi and bye, she can sort of walk behind her walker toy thing. She crawls like a mad woman and does some cruising. She is a hoot. I love her so much.
That's a good place to end. Remind me next time to write about my upcoming promotion, about Mike's work, about the $3k I won(!), and about #2.
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Oh my goodness, so much time has passed. I'm still here Still alive, still blogging. I've just been busy, between work and baby and life and vacations. Quick update.
--Things with Mike have been better. I'm trying to focus more on the good things and less on the bad ones, and see if I can recapture the love I had. We had sex yesterday for the first time in probably 6 weeks. Eek. But it was nice, and he was happy.
--I had my 6-month post-partum checkup with the OB and talked to her about the physical pain I was having during sex. She did an exam and clued right in on where the pain was. My skin did something weird when growing back from the stitching, so she gave me a steroid cream to use. It gave me some other discomfort, so I didn't use it the full time I was supposed to. I probably should, though, because it still hurt (though not as much) when Mike and I had sex yesterday.
--Michaela is doing GREAT! She's enormous-- tall and heavy. She is eating solid foods now. She's has avocado, banana, green beans, butternut squash, carrots, and, as of today, cottage cheese. Banana is her favorite; green beans are her least favorite. She has two teeth now that have broken the gums. She's sitting up very well, and is so curious about the world around her.
--With her new solid food consumption, Michaela isn't drinking as much breast milk, so I don't have to pump as often. I am now not getting up in the middle of the night to pump, which is fabulous. She sleeps through the night and now I can, too!
--Work is going great. I was working really, really long days on a project for weeks, a month or two ago, but now it's calmed down and I'm back to my normal schedule.
--We went on vacation to visit Mike's family and had a blast. It was one of the best vacations I've eve had, hands down. The grandparents and uncles and aunt were excited to see Michaela, and we had a really nice week relaxing and spending time together. It's going to become an annual tradition, and I have to say, I can't wait!
--I'm looking at hiring someone to take care of the baby one day a week. My mom is going to take her on Thursdays for the next 11 weeks while Mike teaches a morning class, but I still feel like it would be good to have help another day a week so he can concentrate on his business. I need to do some research to see what questions one should ask a potential baby sitter/nanny.
--Mike's mom and stepdad are coming to visit in two weeks. His mom just retired, so she's going to stay for about 10 days. Then her hubby will come and they'll watch Michaela while Mike and I head to Northern California for a friend's wedding. Should be a nice getaway.
--My best friend lives in Chicago and had twins about 2.5 months ago. I'm going to go visit her sometime in the next couple of months. It'll just be me and Michaela, but it should be a blast. Another friend just moved there, too, so I'll also get to see her while we're out. Just need to find a date and book my tix!
--We're talking about doing a cruise in October with Mike's mom and stepdad or mom and grandma (his grandpa died a few months ago). It would be a cruise we've done before, but still, a fun trip. This year has involved a lot of travel!
--I continue to suffer form itching when I get too hot. apparently that's here to stay. When I exercise or when it's warm out, or if I stay in the hot shower too long... BAM! Itchy rash. Ugh!
--My birthday is in about two months. I've gotta decide what to do. My treat to myself may be my trip to Chicago. And that's okay. Michaela's 1st birthday is 5 months from today (I know! How is it possible my baby is 7 months old?!?) and I'm trying to decide what we should do to celebrate it. Since Mike's family is split (mom and stepdad, dad and stepmom), it's a little more awkward, and since it's so close to Christmas, there are other considerations. I'm thinking we may just do something small-- like we'll do a cake for Michaela and invite my parents and invite all of Mike's parents-- and tell any family members who live somewhere else they're welcome to join us for Christmas if they want. I don't think anyone will-- Mike's mom and stepdad will have just been out in October, and with Mike's grandpa having passed away, they won't leave his grandma; and Mike's dad and stepmom have talked about coming in February or March, so they probably wouldn't come twice in such a short period of time-- but it's nice to offer and to get it on the calendar.
That's all for now. I will try to return to my days of being good about posting. I know someday, I'll look back at this and be really happy I documented my thoughts and the things that were happening in our lives. So I just need to make the time for it!
--Things with Mike have been better. I'm trying to focus more on the good things and less on the bad ones, and see if I can recapture the love I had. We had sex yesterday for the first time in probably 6 weeks. Eek. But it was nice, and he was happy.
--I had my 6-month post-partum checkup with the OB and talked to her about the physical pain I was having during sex. She did an exam and clued right in on where the pain was. My skin did something weird when growing back from the stitching, so she gave me a steroid cream to use. It gave me some other discomfort, so I didn't use it the full time I was supposed to. I probably should, though, because it still hurt (though not as much) when Mike and I had sex yesterday.
--Michaela is doing GREAT! She's enormous-- tall and heavy. She is eating solid foods now. She's has avocado, banana, green beans, butternut squash, carrots, and, as of today, cottage cheese. Banana is her favorite; green beans are her least favorite. She has two teeth now that have broken the gums. She's sitting up very well, and is so curious about the world around her.
--With her new solid food consumption, Michaela isn't drinking as much breast milk, so I don't have to pump as often. I am now not getting up in the middle of the night to pump, which is fabulous. She sleeps through the night and now I can, too!
--Work is going great. I was working really, really long days on a project for weeks, a month or two ago, but now it's calmed down and I'm back to my normal schedule.
--We went on vacation to visit Mike's family and had a blast. It was one of the best vacations I've eve had, hands down. The grandparents and uncles and aunt were excited to see Michaela, and we had a really nice week relaxing and spending time together. It's going to become an annual tradition, and I have to say, I can't wait!
--I'm looking at hiring someone to take care of the baby one day a week. My mom is going to take her on Thursdays for the next 11 weeks while Mike teaches a morning class, but I still feel like it would be good to have help another day a week so he can concentrate on his business. I need to do some research to see what questions one should ask a potential baby sitter/nanny.
--Mike's mom and stepdad are coming to visit in two weeks. His mom just retired, so she's going to stay for about 10 days. Then her hubby will come and they'll watch Michaela while Mike and I head to Northern California for a friend's wedding. Should be a nice getaway.
--My best friend lives in Chicago and had twins about 2.5 months ago. I'm going to go visit her sometime in the next couple of months. It'll just be me and Michaela, but it should be a blast. Another friend just moved there, too, so I'll also get to see her while we're out. Just need to find a date and book my tix!
--We're talking about doing a cruise in October with Mike's mom and stepdad or mom and grandma (his grandpa died a few months ago). It would be a cruise we've done before, but still, a fun trip. This year has involved a lot of travel!
--I continue to suffer form itching when I get too hot. apparently that's here to stay. When I exercise or when it's warm out, or if I stay in the hot shower too long... BAM! Itchy rash. Ugh!
--My birthday is in about two months. I've gotta decide what to do. My treat to myself may be my trip to Chicago. And that's okay. Michaela's 1st birthday is 5 months from today (I know! How is it possible my baby is 7 months old?!?) and I'm trying to decide what we should do to celebrate it. Since Mike's family is split (mom and stepdad, dad and stepmom), it's a little more awkward, and since it's so close to Christmas, there are other considerations. I'm thinking we may just do something small-- like we'll do a cake for Michaela and invite my parents and invite all of Mike's parents-- and tell any family members who live somewhere else they're welcome to join us for Christmas if they want. I don't think anyone will-- Mike's mom and stepdad will have just been out in October, and with Mike's grandpa having passed away, they won't leave his grandma; and Mike's dad and stepmom have talked about coming in February or March, so they probably wouldn't come twice in such a short period of time-- but it's nice to offer and to get it on the calendar.
That's all for now. I will try to return to my days of being good about posting. I know someday, I'll look back at this and be really happy I documented my thoughts and the things that were happening in our lives. So I just need to make the time for it!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Update
My birthday ended up being fine. We had dinner with some friends the day before and it was really nice. Very touching. I cried. I'm a sap, what can I say? The actual day-of, I worked a really long day (10 hours, plus 3 hours drive time). The day after, though, Mike and I and my brother went to a really fancy place for dinner and ate like pigs. Literally hundreds of dollars worth of food (and wine for the boys). It was all comped because of some work Mike had done for the owner of the restaurant. Not bad!
My stomach has gotten a lot bigger. I look at pictures from a couple of weeks ago compared to now and it's mind boggling. Amazing how quickly it happens. Tomorrow I'll be six months pregnant, and Sunday, I'll be married for a year. It's been a busy 12 months.
Work is going well. My boss has been much more open to letting me work from home. I'm home today and will be home two days next week, too. Woo hoo! That's a huge load off.
Big plans for this weekend include buying "What to Expect The First Year" and "Super Baby Foods." I figure I should get started learning about those things now, while I have time and while I'm rested.
Other than that, nothing too exciting going on. That's probably a good thing. ;)
My stomach has gotten a lot bigger. I look at pictures from a couple of weeks ago compared to now and it's mind boggling. Amazing how quickly it happens. Tomorrow I'll be six months pregnant, and Sunday, I'll be married for a year. It's been a busy 12 months.
Work is going well. My boss has been much more open to letting me work from home. I'm home today and will be home two days next week, too. Woo hoo! That's a huge load off.
Big plans for this weekend include buying "What to Expect The First Year" and "Super Baby Foods." I figure I should get started learning about those things now, while I have time and while I'm rested.
Other than that, nothing too exciting going on. That's probably a good thing. ;)
Friday, September 11, 2009
I still count, right?
My birthday is on Monday. I'll be 30. Woo hoo. I've already written about some angst I'm having around my birthday, but I'm trying to get over that. Today, though, something happened that I'd been wondering about. It wasn't necessarily a nice thing to have it confirmed, either.
My in-laws, who are wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, loving people, sent me a birthday gift. It's a necklace with a pendant on it of a family. Two adults, one child. They're hugging, and the arms of the adults form a heart. It's a very nice necklace, and I know they were thinking of me and about how I'm going to be a mom and all that stuff. But isn't the thing about it being my birthday that it's MY birthday? Not the birthday of the little one growing inside me? Wouldn't THAT be a good day to get a necklace of a family?
What I'm trying to say is, this gift is about me as a mother and as the matriarch of a family. Which is nice, but I wonder if it's the beginning of me as an individual not counting anymore. Now it'll be me as a mom, part of a unit (mom + child). That's quite a change and will definitely take some getting used to.
My in-laws, who are wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, loving people, sent me a birthday gift. It's a necklace with a pendant on it of a family. Two adults, one child. They're hugging, and the arms of the adults form a heart. It's a very nice necklace, and I know they were thinking of me and about how I'm going to be a mom and all that stuff. But isn't the thing about it being my birthday that it's MY birthday? Not the birthday of the little one growing inside me? Wouldn't THAT be a good day to get a necklace of a family?
What I'm trying to say is, this gift is about me as a mother and as the matriarch of a family. Which is nice, but I wonder if it's the beginning of me as an individual not counting anymore. Now it'll be me as a mom, part of a unit (mom + child). That's quite a change and will definitely take some getting used to.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
A funk
Every so often, I battle a bout of depression. It's almost always the same. I get sad, I don't want to do anything. I curse my friends, who all suck. Well, I'm going through that now.
In about 2 weeks, I'll celebrate my 30th birthday. Well, let me rephrase that to say that in 2 weeks, I'll turn 30. I won't celebrate my birthday. My plans had been to go on a big trip, but that's not going to happen now that I'm pregnant with Poppy (and not now that we went on our babymoon and I don't have any vacation time left). Obviously, a big raging night of drinking is out, too. Getting dressed up and going somewhere fancy is out of the question-- what on earth would I wear? I'd be really happy, actually, with a night in with my friends, but my friends are all flakes. They're dispersed all over the country, and none of them are inclined to come to San Diego for a weekend. Even the one who lives in LA, only 2 short hours away.
These are the same friends who won't be throwing me a baby shower. I talked to my best friend (I feel silly calling her that right now as I'm put out with her) and was asking her opinion of where we should register-- Babies R Us or Amazon.com-- because Mike and I haven't been able to decide. I was NOT hinting about a shower, but I did mention that I didn't think I'd have one since everyone is far away and busy, and that my mom isn't the type to throw me one. She didn't say anything indicating an interest or desire to throw me one, which is fine, except it still hurts my feelings.
I also have been very frustrated with Mike lately for a number of reasons. He's driving me crazy. I don't feel like he wants me input on baby product purchasing, he is always pestering me for sex (which I have no interest in, though that's not the fault of the pregnancy, it was pretty much that was before, too). He is always going on and on about how much he does around the house, implying that I don't do anything. And the other day, when I talk the dog to the vet, he said, "how much did that cost me?" Excuse me, but I work and contribute to our household, too, and I don't appreciate that type of statement.
Mike asked me yesterday what I want to do to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary, which is about a week after my birthday. Again, see the paragraphs above for reasons I don't want to do anything. All I've been thinking lately is, "why don't we get divorced?"
Oh, and I suggested to him the other day that he should think about getting a fuck buddy. Fort he last week or so, I've been thinking up rules that would make me more comfortable with it. Must be STD-free. Mike must not spend any money on him/her. There will be others, I'm sure. It just seems like if we do it this way, at least I'll have some control. Without it, or without my suddenly regaining an interest in sex, it's just a matter of time until he cheats on me. So here I am-- 29 years old, less than a year into my marriage, and pregnant to boot. No wonder I'm depressed.
In about 2 weeks, I'll celebrate my 30th birthday. Well, let me rephrase that to say that in 2 weeks, I'll turn 30. I won't celebrate my birthday. My plans had been to go on a big trip, but that's not going to happen now that I'm pregnant with Poppy (and not now that we went on our babymoon and I don't have any vacation time left). Obviously, a big raging night of drinking is out, too. Getting dressed up and going somewhere fancy is out of the question-- what on earth would I wear? I'd be really happy, actually, with a night in with my friends, but my friends are all flakes. They're dispersed all over the country, and none of them are inclined to come to San Diego for a weekend. Even the one who lives in LA, only 2 short hours away.
These are the same friends who won't be throwing me a baby shower. I talked to my best friend (I feel silly calling her that right now as I'm put out with her) and was asking her opinion of where we should register-- Babies R Us or Amazon.com-- because Mike and I haven't been able to decide. I was NOT hinting about a shower, but I did mention that I didn't think I'd have one since everyone is far away and busy, and that my mom isn't the type to throw me one. She didn't say anything indicating an interest or desire to throw me one, which is fine, except it still hurts my feelings.
I also have been very frustrated with Mike lately for a number of reasons. He's driving me crazy. I don't feel like he wants me input on baby product purchasing, he is always pestering me for sex (which I have no interest in, though that's not the fault of the pregnancy, it was pretty much that was before, too). He is always going on and on about how much he does around the house, implying that I don't do anything. And the other day, when I talk the dog to the vet, he said, "how much did that cost me?" Excuse me, but I work and contribute to our household, too, and I don't appreciate that type of statement.
Mike asked me yesterday what I want to do to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary, which is about a week after my birthday. Again, see the paragraphs above for reasons I don't want to do anything. All I've been thinking lately is, "why don't we get divorced?"
Oh, and I suggested to him the other day that he should think about getting a fuck buddy. Fort he last week or so, I've been thinking up rules that would make me more comfortable with it. Must be STD-free. Mike must not spend any money on him/her. There will be others, I'm sure. It just seems like if we do it this way, at least I'll have some control. Without it, or without my suddenly regaining an interest in sex, it's just a matter of time until he cheats on me. So here I am-- 29 years old, less than a year into my marriage, and pregnant to boot. No wonder I'm depressed.
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