Friday, September 11, 2009

I still count, right?

My birthday is on Monday. I'll be 30. Woo hoo. I've already written about some angst I'm having around my birthday, but I'm trying to get over that. Today, though, something happened that I'd been wondering about. It wasn't necessarily a nice thing to have it confirmed, either.

My in-laws, who are wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, loving people, sent me a birthday gift. It's a necklace with a pendant on it of a family. Two adults, one child. They're hugging, and the arms of the adults form a heart. It's a very nice necklace, and I know they were thinking of me and about how I'm going to be a mom and all that stuff. But isn't the thing about it being my birthday that it's MY birthday? Not the birthday of the little one growing inside me? Wouldn't THAT be a good day to get a necklace of a family?

What I'm trying to say is, this gift is about me as a mother and as the matriarch of a family. Which is nice, but I wonder if it's the beginning of me as an individual not counting anymore. Now it'll be me as a mom, part of a unit (mom + child). That's quite a change and will definitely take some getting used to.

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