Because we have no idea how far along we are with the pregnancy, I thought it would be fun to ask people for their guesses. Ideally, I'd like to award a prize, but I haven't been able to think of anything creative yet. (Although as I typed that, I had an idea-- a certificate with a stylized picture of whatever the baby looks like that week, e.g., if I'm 8 weeks along, a kidney bean. Fun!)
Without further ado, here are the guesses:
My best friend = 7 weeks
My mom = 10
My best "mom" friend = 11
Myself = 9
Mother-in-law = 10
Only coworker who knows = 11
I haven't been able to get a guess out of Mike yet, but I'll be sure to do that before our appointment. I'm getting really excited for tomorrow and have already done some research on questions I should ask, plus things I want to know based on stuff that's been happening to me. For example, yesterday I got a migraine. Am I allowed to take my prescription migraine med, or do I have to tough it out for two days, like I did?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
I'm screwed
The policy at my work to take FMLA and CFRA (the California version of the law) says you have to have worked there for at least 1 year and have worked at least 1250 hours in the previous year. I started my job on February 2, 2008, so unless I'm having an elephant, there's no way I will have been there for a year when I deliver. And 1250 hours is about 8 months' worth of 40-hour work weeks; I won't get to that point until November. Sigh.
I am feeling incredibly frustrated with the timing of this pregnancy. Obviously it wasn't planned, and I am a planner by nature. I can take some unpaid leave-- 30 days' worth-- but that's it. I'm looking at quitting my job or having to go back to work way sooner than I'd like so I can get the time on the books and then take the leave.
Mike and I had a brief conversation today and he said something to the effect of, "well, you can just go back to work and take your leave starting in February." I can have the baby, use whatever vacation I've accrued (and maybe the unpaid leave, or maybe not) and then suck it up and go back to work. That really pissed me off because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that I won't have that much vacation time and 1) physically, depending on how delivery goes, it may be difficult to "just" go back to work, and 2) emotionally, it will be incredibly difficult to "just" have the baby and then drive my sorry, sad, tired ass 90 miles away to 8+ hours of work and 3 hours in the car.
The other thing Mike said was, "you're a director, maybe they'll waive the policy for you." Umm, yeah, I don't think so. Considering they don't let me work from home because "everyone else wants to, regardless of how close or far away they live" and considering that my (nonprofit) organization is running a massive deficit, I don't see it happening. Most of all, I'm sure management will be smart enough to figure out that once I have a baby, my interest and enthusiasm in commuting 180 miles a day, far away from the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood, is going to drop off like a stone and it won't be long until I quit.
I didn't say any of that to him because I've been trying not to focus on, or talk about, the fact that the timing of this baby sucks! So I bit my tongue and am going to try to talk to my HR person-- eventually- to see what my options are.
I am feeling incredibly frustrated with the timing of this pregnancy. Obviously it wasn't planned, and I am a planner by nature. I can take some unpaid leave-- 30 days' worth-- but that's it. I'm looking at quitting my job or having to go back to work way sooner than I'd like so I can get the time on the books and then take the leave.
Mike and I had a brief conversation today and he said something to the effect of, "well, you can just go back to work and take your leave starting in February." I can have the baby, use whatever vacation I've accrued (and maybe the unpaid leave, or maybe not) and then suck it up and go back to work. That really pissed me off because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that I won't have that much vacation time and 1) physically, depending on how delivery goes, it may be difficult to "just" go back to work, and 2) emotionally, it will be incredibly difficult to "just" have the baby and then drive my sorry, sad, tired ass 90 miles away to 8+ hours of work and 3 hours in the car.
The other thing Mike said was, "you're a director, maybe they'll waive the policy for you." Umm, yeah, I don't think so. Considering they don't let me work from home because "everyone else wants to, regardless of how close or far away they live" and considering that my (nonprofit) organization is running a massive deficit, I don't see it happening. Most of all, I'm sure management will be smart enough to figure out that once I have a baby, my interest and enthusiasm in commuting 180 miles a day, far away from the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood, is going to drop off like a stone and it won't be long until I quit.
I didn't say any of that to him because I've been trying not to focus on, or talk about, the fact that the timing of this baby sucks! So I bit my tongue and am going to try to talk to my HR person-- eventually- to see what my options are.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
First things last
Why is this blog called "Poppy and Me?" Mike and I signed up for weekly emails from BabyCenter.com that tell you about what's going on in the pregnancy that week. The first email we got said the baby was the size of a poppy seed, and since the prospect of actually having a baby (of all things!) inside my belly seems a little weird, we just started referring to it (him/her) as "Poppy." So this blog is intended to chronicle the process of incubating and hatching Poppy.
Since that initial email, we've grown from a poppy seed to a sesame seed, then to a lentil, then to a bluebuerry. This week, we're a kidney bean. Thankfully, I know what all those foods are. When we get to "kumquat" territory, I'm going to be totally lost!
Since that initial email, we've grown from a poppy seed to a sesame seed, then to a lentil, then to a bluebuerry. This week, we're a kidney bean. Thankfully, I know what all those foods are. When we get to "kumquat" territory, I'm going to be totally lost!
Where you at?
I hate that expression. But this post is all about where I am with my pregnancy.
I'm in hell!
Being pregnant is, hands down, the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. At first, I didn't feel like it was true. I felt the same as always. No way there's a baby in my belly!
That quickly faded, though. I began having morning, noon and night sickness. No vomiting, just really intense nausea and a lot of dry heaving. I became incredibly fatigued. I would drag myself to work in the morning (and keep in mind that I work 90 miles from my house, so I have to leave an hour and a half before I need to be at work), stay as long as I could, spend another 90 minutes in the car, then come home and immediately get in bed. I also had to leave several meetings to go dry heave in the bathroom. Nice.
It's gotten a little better in the last few weeks. I'm trying to do all the things they suggest you do when you have bad morning sickness. I take my prenatal vitamins at night so I won't feel sick all day. I eat a lot of small meals and try to keep something in my stomach at all times. Those things help, but come with their own downsides, like waking up feeling sick in the middle of the night and like feeling like a cow being turned into veal.
Normally, I love to eat. But I'm so sick of eating now! So sick of food! Nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good (or not for very long). My sense of smell has become really sensitive and each time I open the fridge, I was to throw up from the smell. And it's not like our fridge is gross and smells bad!
The last few days, I've had a disgusting, sweet, metallic taste in my mouth that won't go away. It's not a hygiene thing, I brush my teeth all the time. Sucking on mints helps, while I'm actually doing it, but the minute the mint is gone, the taste is back worse than ever. I've read that happens to some women, but no one really knows why.
Some days, I have a really hard time breathing and find myself wheezing a bit. Today is one of those days. I didn't feel like I could catch my breath. I laid on the floor of my office for a while, but that didn't help.
I don't know how far along I am, so I'm not sure how much longer these things will go on. Much of what I'm experiencing goes away for most women after the first trimester is over. I'm hoping when we go in for our first prenatal appointment on Monday, they'll tell me I'm very close to being in my second trimester and I'll start feeling better soon!
I'm in hell!
Being pregnant is, hands down, the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. At first, I didn't feel like it was true. I felt the same as always. No way there's a baby in my belly!
That quickly faded, though. I began having morning, noon and night sickness. No vomiting, just really intense nausea and a lot of dry heaving. I became incredibly fatigued. I would drag myself to work in the morning (and keep in mind that I work 90 miles from my house, so I have to leave an hour and a half before I need to be at work), stay as long as I could, spend another 90 minutes in the car, then come home and immediately get in bed. I also had to leave several meetings to go dry heave in the bathroom. Nice.
It's gotten a little better in the last few weeks. I'm trying to do all the things they suggest you do when you have bad morning sickness. I take my prenatal vitamins at night so I won't feel sick all day. I eat a lot of small meals and try to keep something in my stomach at all times. Those things help, but come with their own downsides, like waking up feeling sick in the middle of the night and like feeling like a cow being turned into veal.
Normally, I love to eat. But I'm so sick of eating now! So sick of food! Nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good (or not for very long). My sense of smell has become really sensitive and each time I open the fridge, I was to throw up from the smell. And it's not like our fridge is gross and smells bad!
The last few days, I've had a disgusting, sweet, metallic taste in my mouth that won't go away. It's not a hygiene thing, I brush my teeth all the time. Sucking on mints helps, while I'm actually doing it, but the minute the mint is gone, the taste is back worse than ever. I've read that happens to some women, but no one really knows why.
Some days, I have a really hard time breathing and find myself wheezing a bit. Today is one of those days. I didn't feel like I could catch my breath. I laid on the floor of my office for a while, but that didn't help.
I don't know how far along I am, so I'm not sure how much longer these things will go on. Much of what I'm experiencing goes away for most women after the first trimester is over. I'm hoping when we go in for our first prenatal appointment on Monday, they'll tell me I'm very close to being in my second trimester and I'll start feeling better soon!
Bombshell
A few months ago, I started gaining weight. I'd never had regular periods, and had been told by a doctor when I was a teenager that I'd have a hard time having kids, but I was still curious enough about the weight gain to take a home pregnancy test. March 23, it came back negative. When my period still hadn't arrived a month later, I made an appointment at the doctor, and April 29, I went to the OBGYN to get the ball rolling on figuring out what's wrong with my female plumbing system. Since you have to be trying for a year to be declared reproductively challenged, I didn't think the midwife (I'm a member of Kaiser, so it's rare to see a doctor) would do much for me, but thought it was the first step that would help me and my husband, Mike, start down the road of starting a family someday.
Imagine my surprise when we started and ended the appointment with a pregnancy test. The test was positive. I was shocked. It was the last thing I was expecting (for a number of reasons, including the negative pregnancy test the month before).
The process of finding out as a comedy of errors.
The nurse told me to pee in a cup, but I'd just gone to the bathroom, so I didn't have to go. We argued about that for a minute and agreed that as a compromise, I would drink a cup of water and then see if I could squeeze out a few drops. "We don't need much," she said.
I peed in the cup, the nurse used an eye dropper to put the urine on the test. One line showed up right away. There was a faint light gray line next to it. She showed it to me and expected me to be excited. I, of course, had no idea what I was looking at. Apparently I didn't look impressed because she then explained the test to me. Two lines = pregnant, one line = not.
She said she couldn't tell if the test was positive or not, and took it to confer with another nurse. Meanwhile, I was in the exam room freaking out. "What does this mean? How is this possible? Is this a joke? Are you kidding me? Should I call Mike? Text him? This must be some sort of mistake."
Meanwhile, I heard the other nurse say, "just tell her it's positive." So nice, so caring. The first nurse comes back in and proceeds to tell me how exciting this is and how great the news is and to go on and on and on.
Now-- this is GREAT news. I'm very excited. Very happy. I just think it's inappropriate for this woman to, without knowing my circumstances, make such a fuss. What if I'd been raped, or didn't want the baby for some other reason? I told her I was happy and she left, then I waited for the midwife I was scheduled to see.
She gave me a run down of some info (eat small meals, don't think you really have to "eat for two," stay away from raw fish, take prenatal vitamins, etc.) and asked me if I had any questions. I told her I was sure I'd have lots of questions later, but that at that point, I was mostly in shock. You know, because I'd gone into the doctor expecting to be told I'm barren and left having been told I'm expecting.
After leaving the doctor's office, I texted Mike to see if he wanted to meet me for lunch. I didn't want to tell him over the phone, so that seemed like a good plan. But he'd eaten just a little bit before and wasn't hungry, so when he asked how the appointment went, I was vague. I planned to tell him in he evening when he was home from work, but Kaiser threw a wrench into those plans.
Each of us has our medical stuff set up so that when one of us goes to the doctor, the other one is notified of the test results. That's why Mike got an email shortly after my appointment that said "Diagnosis: Pregnancy." And that's why he called me a few minutes after that and asked, "Are you pregnant?!?!?" So I ended up telling him over the phone after all.
Imagine my surprise when we started and ended the appointment with a pregnancy test. The test was positive. I was shocked. It was the last thing I was expecting (for a number of reasons, including the negative pregnancy test the month before).
The process of finding out as a comedy of errors.
The nurse told me to pee in a cup, but I'd just gone to the bathroom, so I didn't have to go. We argued about that for a minute and agreed that as a compromise, I would drink a cup of water and then see if I could squeeze out a few drops. "We don't need much," she said.
I peed in the cup, the nurse used an eye dropper to put the urine on the test. One line showed up right away. There was a faint light gray line next to it. She showed it to me and expected me to be excited. I, of course, had no idea what I was looking at. Apparently I didn't look impressed because she then explained the test to me. Two lines = pregnant, one line = not.
She said she couldn't tell if the test was positive or not, and took it to confer with another nurse. Meanwhile, I was in the exam room freaking out. "What does this mean? How is this possible? Is this a joke? Are you kidding me? Should I call Mike? Text him? This must be some sort of mistake."
Meanwhile, I heard the other nurse say, "just tell her it's positive." So nice, so caring. The first nurse comes back in and proceeds to tell me how exciting this is and how great the news is and to go on and on and on.
Now-- this is GREAT news. I'm very excited. Very happy. I just think it's inappropriate for this woman to, without knowing my circumstances, make such a fuss. What if I'd been raped, or didn't want the baby for some other reason? I told her I was happy and she left, then I waited for the midwife I was scheduled to see.
She gave me a run down of some info (eat small meals, don't think you really have to "eat for two," stay away from raw fish, take prenatal vitamins, etc.) and asked me if I had any questions. I told her I was sure I'd have lots of questions later, but that at that point, I was mostly in shock. You know, because I'd gone into the doctor expecting to be told I'm barren and left having been told I'm expecting.
After leaving the doctor's office, I texted Mike to see if he wanted to meet me for lunch. I didn't want to tell him over the phone, so that seemed like a good plan. But he'd eaten just a little bit before and wasn't hungry, so when he asked how the appointment went, I was vague. I planned to tell him in he evening when he was home from work, but Kaiser threw a wrench into those plans.
Each of us has our medical stuff set up so that when one of us goes to the doctor, the other one is notified of the test results. That's why Mike got an email shortly after my appointment that said "Diagnosis: Pregnancy." And that's why he called me a few minutes after that and asked, "Are you pregnant?!?!?" So I ended up telling him over the phone after all.
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