My leave is all messed up, which I've alluded to in a previous post. I was hoping it would get straightened out, and I suppose that it now has mostly been, I just don't like the way it was resolved.
The bad thing about starting a new job when you're 8 months pregnant is that you don't have any FMLA protections. The bad thing about working for a relatively small organization is that no one knows the answers to anything. We outsource our HR, so not only do I have to deal with someone on the internal company policies, but I also have to deal with someone from the HR company.
I get a 30 day maternity leave through my employer, 100% paid. It turns out it's 20 work days. That's fine, and actually pretty generous (especially considering I have only worked there for less than a month). The company starts that the day I went off work, which in my case was two days before I actually had the baby. I was disabled because of the drugs I was on, and my doctor will write me a note saying so in order to apply for Pregnancy Disability Leave, but that's a separate process run through the state-- not my employer and not the outside HR company. So that's another person/entity I have to deal with. What my company is telling me is that I need to exhaust my maternity leave first and then apply for that disability leave, which seems weird, but okay.
Unless I want to take time unpaid, I will only end up taking off 20 days of maternity leave. Except it's really less than that because I was out and in the hospital for a number of days, and have spent about a week since trying to get this all nailed down. A week of not working, that is. So at this point, I have about 11 work days off left before I have to go back to being a full-time employee.
Why not take unpaid leave time? Because of the other wrench in the works-- health insurance. When I left my last job, I had health insurance coverage through the end of November, but had to elect Cobra for December. My benefits with the new job were scheduled to kick in January 1, 2010. Except since I've been on maternity leave with no FMLA protection, I'm not considered an active employee and I will still need to work a consecutive 30 days (and then wait until the 1st of the month after those 30 days) before my benefits kick in. So not only do I have an $800 Cobra bill for me and the baby for December, but I will have to pay $850 (benefit costs go up with the new year) each month for the two of us to have coverage until my benefits kick in. At this point, because of the timing, if I finish out my 11 remaining days of maternity leave, that puts me into January, which means I need to work all of January plus however many days of February to get to 30 consecutive days, and then my benefits will kick in March 1. So $800 for December + $850 for January + $850 for March, just for me and Michaela to have coverage. Mike, meanwhile, has no health insurance because he quit his job, didn't elect Cobra, and won't have insurance until mine kicks in and he's on mine.
We have the money in savings to pay for the Cobra, and we also have the money in savings for me to take some unpaid leave, but the combination of the two would drain our savings at a really fast rate. Especially because any unpaid days I take delay my getting health insurance. So doing one prolongs the other, continuing the rapid drawing down of our savings at a time when I'm the only one working and Mike is taking time with the baby and on the renovations of our house (as opposed to actively seeking out work).
So right now, what I think I'm planning to do is to go back to work on Monday. Yup, Monday, December 28. Sixteen days after I gave birth. That way, I'll only have to do Cobra for December and January, my benefits will start February 1, and it will get my family the coverage we need soonest and with the least expense. I'm really unhappy with having to go back to work so soon, but I don't know what else I can do. I'll still have the other 11 days of leave, so after Feb. 1, I can't take those days.
Of course, I'm not sure how good of an employee I'll be when I'm on so little sleep and my mind is totally somewhere else, but I guess you go what you gotta do.
Showing posts with label FMLA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FMLA. Show all posts
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Stream of Consciousness
A lot has happened since I last wrote. I was induced and had the baby-- a great story I'll come back to tell in another post. In the meantime, I wanted to jot down a few thoughts so they wouldn't get lost in a fog of sleep deprivation.
--My new job. The benefits situation is all fucked up. Cobra through my old job is nearly $850/month for me and the baby. That doesn't include Mike, who is another couple of hundred bucks through his Cobra. Oy. Also, the 30-day maternity leave (since I'm not eligible for FMLA) is 30 days, not 30 work days, and so far, I've been told that it starts the day I had the baby. Given that this is December, and between this month and January, there are a lot of holidays I would normally have off anyway, I'm not thrilled about "losing" those days. My boss is pressing for an answer, though, and I am trying to be hopeful.
--Similarly, the thought of having to go back to work after only 30 days is killing me. I'm trying to remind myself, though, that even though I would have had more time off at my old job, eventually I would have had to go back and do the long commute and that would be excruciating as well.
--I'm soooooo tired. But sort of not tired. I don't think this is sustainable and I'll crash at some point, but right now, I'm tired but manage to keep it up throughout the day and then to get up multiple times at night.
--The baby is adorable. I'm in love with her like I've never loved anything or anyone else before. The love I have for her is totally different than my love for Mike. She has had some issues with jaundice, since she's technically a preemie (born at 36 weeks, not 37 or 40), and seeing her under the bili lights and having to get her heel stuck for blood tests every day is killing me. I know she will be okay, and it's good to get this taken care of, but it's so hard!
--Speaking of hard: breastfeeding. My goodness. The frustration was incredible. I cried and cried and cried the first several days, due to the breastfeeding situation and the jaundice situation. One night in the beginning, when I was in the newborn nursery-- I had to go there every 2-3 hours to take her off the bili light machine so I could feed Michaela-- I just said, "fuck it" and gave her a bottle with formula in it rather than continue to struggle to breastfeed her. It was a watershed moment. I felt so relieved, like all of the pressure was off me. I could give my baby what she needed, even if it didn't come from my boobs, and that's what was most important. The next day a really great lactation consultant came to my room and worked with me and I had more success, though it's still slow going. Michaela (that's how we ended up spelling it, which is another funny story) latches on but gets really tired and doesn't like to suck for very long. Not good when you need a lot of protein to bind to the bilirubin to make your jaundice go away. So we were supplementing her with formula, first out of a tube and syringe (so painful) and later (now) breast milk out of a bottle.
--I always sort of wondered how I'd know things like, how will I know when/how to push and how will I know if my milk came in. The labor front was amazing, my body did what it was meant to do. I got to a certain point where I felt all this pressure and said to Mike and the nurse, "I have to start pushing." And I did. On the milk front, it's very clear my milk is in because I'm like a Holstein cow! I have so much milk! My plan is that if breastfeeding doesn't work out (I have an appointment in 2 weeks with another lactation consultant, but am going to try to move that up to be sooner), I will just continue to pump and feed the baby out of a bottle. That's also nice because then Mike can do some of the middle-of-the-night feedings. :)
--Mike is, as I expected, an amazing father. He has a great touch with Michaela. When we were at the hospital, nurses would constantly tell me how impressed they were with him and how good he is with the baby. I told everyone he's the primary and I'm the secondary caregiver.
--I'm a pretty good mom, I think. I'm still a little hesitant on some things and unskilled on others (like putting the baby's clothes on, or getting her in/out of the car seat), but I will get better. And I'm not sure that anyone loves her more than I do, and that counts for something, right?
--I was in the hospital for six days. Six days. Now I'm totally confused about what date it is. I know Christmas is right around the corner, but we've decided to skip it this year. No time or energy to drag out the decorations and no interest in lugging the baby to the crowded malls to buy gifts for people which they probably won't get in time for the holidays, anyway, since so much family lives far away.
--My friends and family are awesome. They have all been so supportive, calling and texting and emailing and sending messages of love and congratulations and encouragement through Facebook. I have a core group of girl friends who have kids and they have been especially great, but it's not just other moms. Everyone has been wonderful!
--Mike and I went to lunch today at a restaurant where I went with his mom, when she was in town, about 10 days ago. I couldn't get over how crazy it is that 10 days ago, I was still pregnant, still a month away from having the baby, and his mom was here. Now, 10 days later, his mom is back in Colorado and I'm a mom. Wow.
Lots of other emotions and random tidbits to share, but I'm happy to have gotten these things out.
--My new job. The benefits situation is all fucked up. Cobra through my old job is nearly $850/month for me and the baby. That doesn't include Mike, who is another couple of hundred bucks through his Cobra. Oy. Also, the 30-day maternity leave (since I'm not eligible for FMLA) is 30 days, not 30 work days, and so far, I've been told that it starts the day I had the baby. Given that this is December, and between this month and January, there are a lot of holidays I would normally have off anyway, I'm not thrilled about "losing" those days. My boss is pressing for an answer, though, and I am trying to be hopeful.
--Similarly, the thought of having to go back to work after only 30 days is killing me. I'm trying to remind myself, though, that even though I would have had more time off at my old job, eventually I would have had to go back and do the long commute and that would be excruciating as well.
--I'm soooooo tired. But sort of not tired. I don't think this is sustainable and I'll crash at some point, but right now, I'm tired but manage to keep it up throughout the day and then to get up multiple times at night.
--The baby is adorable. I'm in love with her like I've never loved anything or anyone else before. The love I have for her is totally different than my love for Mike. She has had some issues with jaundice, since she's technically a preemie (born at 36 weeks, not 37 or 40), and seeing her under the bili lights and having to get her heel stuck for blood tests every day is killing me. I know she will be okay, and it's good to get this taken care of, but it's so hard!
--Speaking of hard: breastfeeding. My goodness. The frustration was incredible. I cried and cried and cried the first several days, due to the breastfeeding situation and the jaundice situation. One night in the beginning, when I was in the newborn nursery-- I had to go there every 2-3 hours to take her off the bili light machine so I could feed Michaela-- I just said, "fuck it" and gave her a bottle with formula in it rather than continue to struggle to breastfeed her. It was a watershed moment. I felt so relieved, like all of the pressure was off me. I could give my baby what she needed, even if it didn't come from my boobs, and that's what was most important. The next day a really great lactation consultant came to my room and worked with me and I had more success, though it's still slow going. Michaela (that's how we ended up spelling it, which is another funny story) latches on but gets really tired and doesn't like to suck for very long. Not good when you need a lot of protein to bind to the bilirubin to make your jaundice go away. So we were supplementing her with formula, first out of a tube and syringe (so painful) and later (now) breast milk out of a bottle.
--I always sort of wondered how I'd know things like, how will I know when/how to push and how will I know if my milk came in. The labor front was amazing, my body did what it was meant to do. I got to a certain point where I felt all this pressure and said to Mike and the nurse, "I have to start pushing." And I did. On the milk front, it's very clear my milk is in because I'm like a Holstein cow! I have so much milk! My plan is that if breastfeeding doesn't work out (I have an appointment in 2 weeks with another lactation consultant, but am going to try to move that up to be sooner), I will just continue to pump and feed the baby out of a bottle. That's also nice because then Mike can do some of the middle-of-the-night feedings. :)
--Mike is, as I expected, an amazing father. He has a great touch with Michaela. When we were at the hospital, nurses would constantly tell me how impressed they were with him and how good he is with the baby. I told everyone he's the primary and I'm the secondary caregiver.
--I'm a pretty good mom, I think. I'm still a little hesitant on some things and unskilled on others (like putting the baby's clothes on, or getting her in/out of the car seat), but I will get better. And I'm not sure that anyone loves her more than I do, and that counts for something, right?
--I was in the hospital for six days. Six days. Now I'm totally confused about what date it is. I know Christmas is right around the corner, but we've decided to skip it this year. No time or energy to drag out the decorations and no interest in lugging the baby to the crowded malls to buy gifts for people which they probably won't get in time for the holidays, anyway, since so much family lives far away.
--My friends and family are awesome. They have all been so supportive, calling and texting and emailing and sending messages of love and congratulations and encouragement through Facebook. I have a core group of girl friends who have kids and they have been especially great, but it's not just other moms. Everyone has been wonderful!
--Mike and I went to lunch today at a restaurant where I went with his mom, when she was in town, about 10 days ago. I couldn't get over how crazy it is that 10 days ago, I was still pregnant, still a month away from having the baby, and his mom was here. Now, 10 days later, his mom is back in Colorado and I'm a mom. Wow.
Lots of other emotions and random tidbits to share, but I'm happy to have gotten these things out.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Telling work: check!
Monday we had our doctor's appointment, and Tuesday I'd scheduled time with my boss (the CEO) and the Director of HR to let them in on our news. I was nervous. Not because they could do anything about it at this point (hello!) and not because I didn't think they'd be excited. It was mostly because that's a big thing to tell people!
Went into my boss' office. We made small talk for a couple of minutes, then I said, "I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant!" He congratulated me and got all excited and asked me a few (non-invasive, friendly) questions. He's very Christian and loves babies, and his son and daughter-in-law are pregnant right now with what's going to be his first grandchild, so he has baby fever. He told me stories from his wife's pregnancy and offered some fatherly advice. He also said, "I know I've only met Mike once or twice, but if he has any questions or wants to talk to me, please tell him to call me!" It was a very nice offer, but one I don't see us taking him up on. Ha ha.
So that was a relief. I then headed over to HR and had the same conversation with the HR director. I was concerned because I am due to deliver before my 1 year anniversary with my employer, so I'm not eligible for FMLA immediately, but it looks like that's actually going to work in my favor (contrary to what I thought a couple of months ago). I can start on Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL), which usually runs concurrently with FMLA, but because I'm not eligible for FMLA, I can start on my PDL and then FMLA will kick in on the day of my 1 year anniversary (nearly 4 weeks after I'm due). I can use that and then get into CFRA (California law) baby bonding time, which apparently after I've taken 2 weeks of, I can decide to then use in day or week(s)-long increments. And the HR director said she'd work with me once it gets closer to run some numbers and do some calculations and figure out how to take my time so that I continue to have company-paid insurance (normally, when you're on unpaid leave, you have to pay your own premiums) and continue to accrue PTO (which would then help stretch out my leave)!
Yesterday, Wednesday, I called my team together and told them the news. They were very happy for me and excited, and the employee I'm closest to came up to me after the meeting and said, "I didn't want to do this out there, but I'm a girl, so give me a hug!" We hugged and she asked me questions and we talked about it. She said she thought I might be pregnant. She's very observant! Another of my employees said, "The important thing is not to get stressed, so put it on us. We're here for you," which I thought was the nicest thing ever.
It feels very good to have told people and to be able to have it out in the open now. I just have to keep this bun in my oven so I don't have to tell all these people any sort of bad news.
Went into my boss' office. We made small talk for a couple of minutes, then I said, "I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant!" He congratulated me and got all excited and asked me a few (non-invasive, friendly) questions. He's very Christian and loves babies, and his son and daughter-in-law are pregnant right now with what's going to be his first grandchild, so he has baby fever. He told me stories from his wife's pregnancy and offered some fatherly advice. He also said, "I know I've only met Mike once or twice, but if he has any questions or wants to talk to me, please tell him to call me!" It was a very nice offer, but one I don't see us taking him up on. Ha ha.
So that was a relief. I then headed over to HR and had the same conversation with the HR director. I was concerned because I am due to deliver before my 1 year anniversary with my employer, so I'm not eligible for FMLA immediately, but it looks like that's actually going to work in my favor (contrary to what I thought a couple of months ago). I can start on Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL), which usually runs concurrently with FMLA, but because I'm not eligible for FMLA, I can start on my PDL and then FMLA will kick in on the day of my 1 year anniversary (nearly 4 weeks after I'm due). I can use that and then get into CFRA (California law) baby bonding time, which apparently after I've taken 2 weeks of, I can decide to then use in day or week(s)-long increments. And the HR director said she'd work with me once it gets closer to run some numbers and do some calculations and figure out how to take my time so that I continue to have company-paid insurance (normally, when you're on unpaid leave, you have to pay your own premiums) and continue to accrue PTO (which would then help stretch out my leave)!
Yesterday, Wednesday, I called my team together and told them the news. They were very happy for me and excited, and the employee I'm closest to came up to me after the meeting and said, "I didn't want to do this out there, but I'm a girl, so give me a hug!" We hugged and she asked me questions and we talked about it. She said she thought I might be pregnant. She's very observant! Another of my employees said, "The important thing is not to get stressed, so put it on us. We're here for you," which I thought was the nicest thing ever.
It feels very good to have told people and to be able to have it out in the open now. I just have to keep this bun in my oven so I don't have to tell all these people any sort of bad news.
Friday, May 29, 2009
I'm screwed
The policy at my work to take FMLA and CFRA (the California version of the law) says you have to have worked there for at least 1 year and have worked at least 1250 hours in the previous year. I started my job on February 2, 2008, so unless I'm having an elephant, there's no way I will have been there for a year when I deliver. And 1250 hours is about 8 months' worth of 40-hour work weeks; I won't get to that point until November. Sigh.
I am feeling incredibly frustrated with the timing of this pregnancy. Obviously it wasn't planned, and I am a planner by nature. I can take some unpaid leave-- 30 days' worth-- but that's it. I'm looking at quitting my job or having to go back to work way sooner than I'd like so I can get the time on the books and then take the leave.
Mike and I had a brief conversation today and he said something to the effect of, "well, you can just go back to work and take your leave starting in February." I can have the baby, use whatever vacation I've accrued (and maybe the unpaid leave, or maybe not) and then suck it up and go back to work. That really pissed me off because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that I won't have that much vacation time and 1) physically, depending on how delivery goes, it may be difficult to "just" go back to work, and 2) emotionally, it will be incredibly difficult to "just" have the baby and then drive my sorry, sad, tired ass 90 miles away to 8+ hours of work and 3 hours in the car.
The other thing Mike said was, "you're a director, maybe they'll waive the policy for you." Umm, yeah, I don't think so. Considering they don't let me work from home because "everyone else wants to, regardless of how close or far away they live" and considering that my (nonprofit) organization is running a massive deficit, I don't see it happening. Most of all, I'm sure management will be smart enough to figure out that once I have a baby, my interest and enthusiasm in commuting 180 miles a day, far away from the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood, is going to drop off like a stone and it won't be long until I quit.
I didn't say any of that to him because I've been trying not to focus on, or talk about, the fact that the timing of this baby sucks! So I bit my tongue and am going to try to talk to my HR person-- eventually- to see what my options are.
I am feeling incredibly frustrated with the timing of this pregnancy. Obviously it wasn't planned, and I am a planner by nature. I can take some unpaid leave-- 30 days' worth-- but that's it. I'm looking at quitting my job or having to go back to work way sooner than I'd like so I can get the time on the books and then take the leave.
Mike and I had a brief conversation today and he said something to the effect of, "well, you can just go back to work and take your leave starting in February." I can have the baby, use whatever vacation I've accrued (and maybe the unpaid leave, or maybe not) and then suck it up and go back to work. That really pissed me off because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that I won't have that much vacation time and 1) physically, depending on how delivery goes, it may be difficult to "just" go back to work, and 2) emotionally, it will be incredibly difficult to "just" have the baby and then drive my sorry, sad, tired ass 90 miles away to 8+ hours of work and 3 hours in the car.
The other thing Mike said was, "you're a director, maybe they'll waive the policy for you." Umm, yeah, I don't think so. Considering they don't let me work from home because "everyone else wants to, regardless of how close or far away they live" and considering that my (nonprofit) organization is running a massive deficit, I don't see it happening. Most of all, I'm sure management will be smart enough to figure out that once I have a baby, my interest and enthusiasm in commuting 180 miles a day, far away from the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood, is going to drop off like a stone and it won't be long until I quit.
I didn't say any of that to him because I've been trying not to focus on, or talk about, the fact that the timing of this baby sucks! So I bit my tongue and am going to try to talk to my HR person-- eventually- to see what my options are.
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