I feel like every time I write, I open with, "wow, it's been a long time since I last wrote." This time is different, in that I'm starting with "I feel like every time I write..." Ha ha.
So it's the end of November. We're two weeks away from Michaela being a year old. She went from a little poppy seed to a big, vibrant, happy girl. It's incredible how quickly the year has gone. Someone said to me, about being a mom, "the days are slow, but the years are fast." I totally get that. Some days, I am counting down to 7 p.m., when she usually goes to bed. Then I think about how old Michaela is and my mind is blown all over again.
So, since October, a lot has happened. We went on our cruise, which was very nice. Mike, Michaela and I cruised to Mexico with Mike's mom and stepdad. The trip was a success. I got time to relax (went to the spa, got a massage and a facial) and had a break from the day-to-day, and we all had fun. The grandparents loved spending time with Michaela. Mike and his stepdad took a ton of pictures, which they both enjoy. While on the trip, Michaela started saying "mama," "dada," and "nana."
Our cruise was over Halloween, so Michaela spent her first Halloween dressed adorably as a monkey while heading to paradise. It was very, very warm, so she only wore the costume for about 10 minutes. Nonetheless, we captured the moment with pictures, which was all I wanted.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Michaela had a blast. A total blast. Mike make turkey and all the fixings and I made Michaela a plate of them, which she got to feed herself. She crammed fistfuls of cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey and a roll in her face while Mike and I took pictures. She loved the food and had a lot of fun.
I was less than excited about the way Thanksgiving went down from a family standpoint. We were supposed to go to the Bay Area to spend some time with Mike's grandma. Mike ended up having to work Friday night, so we couldn't drive all the way up to Nor. Cal. and then back in time for him to work. Mike dilly-dallied in letting his grandma know, which I thought was really disrespectful. I was really looking forward to spending time with her, and for her to get to see Michaela (who she hasn't seen since the baby was a month old). So that was a bummer. When we ended up having to stay home, I invited my parents over. They declined. Yup, declined. Just like last year, when I had to call and beg them to come (which they did). So lame. And hurtful.
This year's excuse was that my dad needed to wrap up his moving. Yup, he's moving into my mom's house. Finally. After six years of their living apart.
So back in October, my dad got a call from the woman who owns the house my family has rented for the last 24 years. The house I grew up in. The woman said she was having an inspector come by because she was having the house refinanced. It sounded totally sketchy, because why would you randomly have an inspector come when you haven't been to the house for 20 years? The owner literally never went there, never looked at the state of the property, never put any money into fixing anything up, never... anything. So the whole thing was very fishy. Mike and I seized the opportunity. Mike called the owner and asked her if she was thinking about selling. She stuck to the refi story. Fine. He told her if they needed money, if they were thinking about refinancing, that we (Mike and I) would be interested in buying the place. They talked for quite some time and ended the conversation with her saying we should talk again in the middle of November. We went off on our cruise and when our ship pulled back into San Diego, I called my mom, whol told me that my dad had gotten a registered letter from the owner saying she was selling the house and he had to be out in a month. WHAT?
My parents (Well, now my dad) rent(s) the house, they don't own it. It was the right of the owners to sell their house. I don't blame the owners for selling it. I blame them for the way it went down. Why did the owner lie to my dad? Why did she lie to Mike? Why not call my dad and tel him what the deal was and then follow up with a letter? Really, after renting for 24 years, the way he found out was by a certified letter? The whole thing was totally fucked up.
So my dad, who doesn't deal well with change, was pretty shell shocked. He had to work on clearing out all of his possessions-- mainly cars and car parts, which is the reason he was still living there and not at my mom's house-- and work full time and everything else. Oy. He has been making good progress, and he got a lot of his stuff moved to a storage unit. His non-car personal belongings went to my mom's house. Or should I say, to *their* house.
Now my mom is all freaked out about them moving back in together. For the last six years, all she has been talking about is wanting my dad to move in with her. I'm not sure why, since they hated living together. But now she has her wish. Now don't get me wrong. I don't blame her for being nervous, but I wish for a second, she would at least acknowledge that she's finally getting what she wants. Even though it's a case of "be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
At any rate. My dad gave the excuse that he couldn't come to dinner at our house because he was emptying out his house in preparation for the move. So he didn't come. I talked to my brother, who has a way of offering perspective on family-related situations (that's why I'd like to give Michaela a sibling-- so Michaela has the option of talking to someone else about how crazy Mike and I are). He basically told me I need to give up on inviting them to family stuff. That all of them-- my mom and dad and bro-- love me but show it in a different way and that I need to just meet them where they are and not expect them to meet me where I am. It's good advice. It's also easier said than done.
I was really angry at my dad. He gets so hurt that Michaela cries whenever she sees him. She does that because she doesn't see him very often. Now, she surely will see him more often once my dad moves in with my mom, but for the meantime... But I invite him over, give him the chance to spend time with Michaela, and he turns it down. And it's not just this one time. This happened last year, pre-Michaela. But it also happens all the time now. I invite both of my parents over and they refuse on a regular basis. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I expect more of them than that. Even at the same time I am happy with how good they are when they're with Michaela, I wish they could just be... normal. There, I said it. Normal. Maybe there's no such thing as normal. Maybe I've watched too many sitcoms in my life. But there it is.
Well, on that note... I'm going to go pump. I've been pumping for the last 11 1/2 months. My time with my Pump in Style is drawing to an end. I'm glad, so I can have my body back, but I'm also really proud that I've managed to do so for so long. Michaela may not have been exclusively breastfed, but she had an awful lot of breast milk!
And she's doing really well. She has 8 teeth and more on the way. She laughs, she waves hi and bye, she can sort of walk behind her walker toy thing. She crawls like a mad woman and does some cruising. She is a hoot. I love her so much.
That's a good place to end. Remind me next time to write about my upcoming promotion, about Mike's work, about the $3k I won(!), and about #2.
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
September
Somewhere along the line, I went from the mother of a baby to the mother of an infant. It's really amazing. I'm not sure how it happened. Michaela is 9 months old now and she's just the coolest kid. She's super curious about things. She loves animals. She loves the wind in her hair. She loves her grandma (my mom). Whenever we go to my mom's house, Michaela gets the HUGEST smile and always laughs. It's tremendously sweet.
And she's pulling herself up now. I put a magazine on our bar-height chair and next thing I knew, Michaela's army crawled over to the chair, pulled herself up, pulled the magazine off the chair, laid back down on the floor, and begun playing with the magazine. She loves the crinkly sound the paper makes.
She likes to pull herself up on people, too. And the daycare lady says that she's starting to figure out the toys there, and which ones make noise.
Meanwhile, Michaela aside, I'm doing well, too. Work is going great. I really like my job, though it sometimes feels like a bit much. Most of the time, it doesn't. And that's pretty cool. I relish the flexibility of my job. I can take time off in the middle of the day to do fun stuff, or work in my bathrobe all day, or work from Starbucks. That rocks. My boss is pregnant and she's asked me if I would be okay with her floating the idea to our CEO of my taking over for her while she's out on leave. She says she thinks I'd do a great job and that she talked to the Chief of Staff, who also thinks I'd be great at it. That would mean I'd be "acting senior vice president" and get a temporary pay raise. Lord knows the money would be fabulous to have. That would help us build up our new house down payment fund even quicker.
And that has become an increasing priority for me. I love our house. LOVE IT. But the schools that are near us are just awful. I can't send Michaela there. We have lots of options to get her out of here, but it's more than just the school. It's also wanting to be in a neighborhood where Michaela can have friends, and where she can have more space to play. Our house now doesn't have much by way of yard. Actually, it doesn't have any yard for her to play in now, because even our backyard is dirt and native plants, not grass. But buying a house in San Diego is expensive, so we need to be diligent savers. I'm trying to buckle down and cut our food costs, because that's one place where we spend a ton of money. But other things keep coming up, like trips.
We've booked a vacation in late October/early November. We'll be taking a cruise with Michaela, and Mike's mom and stepdad. Should be fun. We've actually done this cruise before, but on a different ship. It'll be interesting to see how it goes with a baby on board...
Monday is our two year wedding anniversary. Time has flown by. On the one hand, it feels like we've been married forever. We've been together 6 years now, and in our house for 3. On the other hand, it feels like we just got married. And here we are with a 9 month old. Crazy.
Being a mom is awesome. I love it. I'm so glad, because I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it. Mike is totally ready for #2. I'm not. I would like to have a little bit of time to myself, body-wise. That is to say, I'm still pumping for Michaela. So my body isn't my own right now. And if I get pregnant, I'll be hosting that child and then having to pump again. That could mean 3 years straight of having someone else dependent upon my body. All I'm asking for is a month or two to be... alone. Alone isn't the right word, but you know what I mean.
The other thing that is sort of interesting is that lately I've been on the fence about having a second baby. I love Michaela so much. I'm not sure another baby would be as perfect as she is. I'm not sure I want to share her with anyone else. I'm not sure I want to share myself with anyone else. I don't worry I wouldn't love #2, because I know I would, I just feel a little sad when I think about Michaela not being the center of our lives anymore. Although it's probably good for her to not be the only one, and I have always thought it is important to have 2 kids so they can have shared experiences and family once Mike and I pass on. So I don't know. Never thought I'd feel this way. I guess that's motherhood for ya!
Next week, Michaela and I are flying to Chicago to see my best friend. She had twins a few months ago. This will be the first time I've gotten to meet them, and it'll be the 2nd time BFF has gotten to see Michaela. I am super excited to meet her girls and to get to see her and to hang out and spend time in Chicago. It's going to be weird to be together as moms. Our routine used to be getting together and drinking and going clubbing. Or dorking out and playing board games. But now we're going to be pumping and changing diapers and all that jazz. So different!
I'm a little nervous because Michaela and I are going by ourselves. So I'll have to make it through the airport and through the flight (which has a stop in the middle, though we don't change planes) by myself with the baby. I'm going to wear her, though, and take an umbrella stroller, I think, so that should help from a schlepping things around perspective. Also, Michaela apparently has an ear infection (her first, though that's not the type of first I want to celebrate). The doctor said it is a minor one, and that as long as she doesn't spike a fever, it should go away by itself, but I'm concerned about how it will react with the up and down altitude change and pressurization of the plane ride. I emailed the pediatrician and she suggested we come back in to get it looked at now that it's been about a week, so we go in on Monday. Worse case, she can't fly and I need to stay home (Mike is going to Denver to get an award from his alma mater and to speak on a panel there). 2nd worst case, Michaela needs to go on antibiotics. If that's the case, hopefully her starting them on Monday will make it okay for her to fly on Thursday. I could definitely live with that. Best case, the infection is fine and we can go and there's nothing to worry about. Here's hoping!
That's about it for now. As always, I'm going to try to be better about writing. I always think to myself, "oh, that would be good to blog about!" and then get distracted and don't.
(A great example of that is that we sleep trained Michaela. Sort of. So now she's mostly going to bed without a big elaborate ritual that involves us holding her until she's asleep. She went through this period where she didn't want me to put her to bed, only her dad. And it happened at a time when Mike was working in the evenings a lot. So finally I let her cry it out a couple of nights. And then she managed to get herself down, except in certain circumstances, like when she's overtired. Tonight, she started getting fussy and rubbing her eyes, I put her in her crib, she cried a tiny bit and then hummed herself to sleep. Woo hoo!)
And she's pulling herself up now. I put a magazine on our bar-height chair and next thing I knew, Michaela's army crawled over to the chair, pulled herself up, pulled the magazine off the chair, laid back down on the floor, and begun playing with the magazine. She loves the crinkly sound the paper makes.
She likes to pull herself up on people, too. And the daycare lady says that she's starting to figure out the toys there, and which ones make noise.
Meanwhile, Michaela aside, I'm doing well, too. Work is going great. I really like my job, though it sometimes feels like a bit much. Most of the time, it doesn't. And that's pretty cool. I relish the flexibility of my job. I can take time off in the middle of the day to do fun stuff, or work in my bathrobe all day, or work from Starbucks. That rocks. My boss is pregnant and she's asked me if I would be okay with her floating the idea to our CEO of my taking over for her while she's out on leave. She says she thinks I'd do a great job and that she talked to the Chief of Staff, who also thinks I'd be great at it. That would mean I'd be "acting senior vice president" and get a temporary pay raise. Lord knows the money would be fabulous to have. That would help us build up our new house down payment fund even quicker.
And that has become an increasing priority for me. I love our house. LOVE IT. But the schools that are near us are just awful. I can't send Michaela there. We have lots of options to get her out of here, but it's more than just the school. It's also wanting to be in a neighborhood where Michaela can have friends, and where she can have more space to play. Our house now doesn't have much by way of yard. Actually, it doesn't have any yard for her to play in now, because even our backyard is dirt and native plants, not grass. But buying a house in San Diego is expensive, so we need to be diligent savers. I'm trying to buckle down and cut our food costs, because that's one place where we spend a ton of money. But other things keep coming up, like trips.
We've booked a vacation in late October/early November. We'll be taking a cruise with Michaela, and Mike's mom and stepdad. Should be fun. We've actually done this cruise before, but on a different ship. It'll be interesting to see how it goes with a baby on board...
Monday is our two year wedding anniversary. Time has flown by. On the one hand, it feels like we've been married forever. We've been together 6 years now, and in our house for 3. On the other hand, it feels like we just got married. And here we are with a 9 month old. Crazy.
Being a mom is awesome. I love it. I'm so glad, because I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it. Mike is totally ready for #2. I'm not. I would like to have a little bit of time to myself, body-wise. That is to say, I'm still pumping for Michaela. So my body isn't my own right now. And if I get pregnant, I'll be hosting that child and then having to pump again. That could mean 3 years straight of having someone else dependent upon my body. All I'm asking for is a month or two to be... alone. Alone isn't the right word, but you know what I mean.
The other thing that is sort of interesting is that lately I've been on the fence about having a second baby. I love Michaela so much. I'm not sure another baby would be as perfect as she is. I'm not sure I want to share her with anyone else. I'm not sure I want to share myself with anyone else. I don't worry I wouldn't love #2, because I know I would, I just feel a little sad when I think about Michaela not being the center of our lives anymore. Although it's probably good for her to not be the only one, and I have always thought it is important to have 2 kids so they can have shared experiences and family once Mike and I pass on. So I don't know. Never thought I'd feel this way. I guess that's motherhood for ya!
Next week, Michaela and I are flying to Chicago to see my best friend. She had twins a few months ago. This will be the first time I've gotten to meet them, and it'll be the 2nd time BFF has gotten to see Michaela. I am super excited to meet her girls and to get to see her and to hang out and spend time in Chicago. It's going to be weird to be together as moms. Our routine used to be getting together and drinking and going clubbing. Or dorking out and playing board games. But now we're going to be pumping and changing diapers and all that jazz. So different!
I'm a little nervous because Michaela and I are going by ourselves. So I'll have to make it through the airport and through the flight (which has a stop in the middle, though we don't change planes) by myself with the baby. I'm going to wear her, though, and take an umbrella stroller, I think, so that should help from a schlepping things around perspective. Also, Michaela apparently has an ear infection (her first, though that's not the type of first I want to celebrate). The doctor said it is a minor one, and that as long as she doesn't spike a fever, it should go away by itself, but I'm concerned about how it will react with the up and down altitude change and pressurization of the plane ride. I emailed the pediatrician and she suggested we come back in to get it looked at now that it's been about a week, so we go in on Monday. Worse case, she can't fly and I need to stay home (Mike is going to Denver to get an award from his alma mater and to speak on a panel there). 2nd worst case, Michaela needs to go on antibiotics. If that's the case, hopefully her starting them on Monday will make it okay for her to fly on Thursday. I could definitely live with that. Best case, the infection is fine and we can go and there's nothing to worry about. Here's hoping!
That's about it for now. As always, I'm going to try to be better about writing. I always think to myself, "oh, that would be good to blog about!" and then get distracted and don't.
(A great example of that is that we sleep trained Michaela. Sort of. So now she's mostly going to bed without a big elaborate ritual that involves us holding her until she's asleep. She went through this period where she didn't want me to put her to bed, only her dad. And it happened at a time when Mike was working in the evenings a lot. So finally I let her cry it out a couple of nights. And then she managed to get herself down, except in certain circumstances, like when she's overtired. Tonight, she started getting fussy and rubbing her eyes, I put her in her crib, she cried a tiny bit and then hummed herself to sleep. Woo hoo!)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Four Month Update
I try not to be too Type A, too competitive about Michaela. I know that comparing her to other babies is a recipe for disaster. And the doctor has told us that since Michaela was a month early, we should give her an extra month to do things. But I have a couple of friends who have babies around the same age as Michaela. One is a girl who is 10 days younger, the other is a boy who is 2 weeks older. Today I had lunch with the friend with the daughter and I couldn't help but compare the two babies in my head. The girl, V, has rolled over. Michaela hasn't. V can grab her feet. Michaela can't. The boy, S, is smiling a lot and cooing a lot and seems much more... developed... than Michaela.
She'll be four months old tomorrow. I am reminding myself that she is growing by leaps and bounds and that one day equals a large percentage of her life. So I need to give her time and let her grow at her own rate. Besides, there's nothing I can do about it either way.
She is cooing, she smiles. Her vision seems to be really good. Michaela is a happy baby and clearly loves us very much. And I am happy with that!
Tuesday we go to the pediatrician for her four month check up. She'll get some shots (ugh) and get measured and weighed, and we'll get the pediatrician's professional opinion on Michaela's progress. More then!
She'll be four months old tomorrow. I am reminding myself that she is growing by leaps and bounds and that one day equals a large percentage of her life. So I need to give her time and let her grow at her own rate. Besides, there's nothing I can do about it either way.
She is cooing, she smiles. Her vision seems to be really good. Michaela is a happy baby and clearly loves us very much. And I am happy with that!
Tuesday we go to the pediatrician for her four month check up. She'll get some shots (ugh) and get measured and weighed, and we'll get the pediatrician's professional opinion on Michaela's progress. More then!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Where'd March Go?
Well, here we are at the end of March. My goodness. Time really does fly!
--Michaela is cooing like crazy! We have been Skype-ing with the family a lot. They all think she's adorable (and rightly so). Her little personality is really starting to come out.
--I got to see my dad interact with Michaela yesterday. He loves her so much. It really warms my heart.
--I think we're going to see if my mom would be willing to watch Michaela one day a week. It would help us out tremendously. I think she'd like to in theory, but Michaela is getting heavy and it's a little hard on my mom physically.
--Mike and I are doing okay. We had a doozy of a fight last week but are back to talking to each other after three days of silence. You might think it'd be hard to give someone the silent treatment for so long when you live together and both work at home, but we are very stubborn people.
--I've started training for a 5k. Have I mentioned that here? I'm not one to run, but so far, it's going okay. A friend is doing it with me and we are enjoying it. Or I am, at least.
--I am feeling less resentful of pumping. It depends on the day, of course. But Michaela is only 2 weeks away from being 4 months, and I figure that means I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal.
--We're talking about implementing a serious budget starting in April. I'd like to go back to saving, if only so we can think about moving to the suburbs where Michaela would be able to be friends with kids who speak English, to have a yard, to go to a good school, etc. Funny how things change when you have a kid.
--Michaela is sleeping pretty well. She's not sleeping through the night every night, but she is going for long stretches pretty regularly. Last night, she slept 12 hours (very unlike her), though I had to get up twice to pump. Still, I'll take it!
I constantly think of things I want to write about, but then I don't get to it and when I sit down to write updates like these, I can't think of half the things I wanted to write. I'll have to start jotting down notes to myself.
--Michaela is cooing like crazy! We have been Skype-ing with the family a lot. They all think she's adorable (and rightly so). Her little personality is really starting to come out.
--I got to see my dad interact with Michaela yesterday. He loves her so much. It really warms my heart.
--I think we're going to see if my mom would be willing to watch Michaela one day a week. It would help us out tremendously. I think she'd like to in theory, but Michaela is getting heavy and it's a little hard on my mom physically.
--Mike and I are doing okay. We had a doozy of a fight last week but are back to talking to each other after three days of silence. You might think it'd be hard to give someone the silent treatment for so long when you live together and both work at home, but we are very stubborn people.
--I've started training for a 5k. Have I mentioned that here? I'm not one to run, but so far, it's going okay. A friend is doing it with me and we are enjoying it. Or I am, at least.
--I am feeling less resentful of pumping. It depends on the day, of course. But Michaela is only 2 weeks away from being 4 months, and I figure that means I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal.
--We're talking about implementing a serious budget starting in April. I'd like to go back to saving, if only so we can think about moving to the suburbs where Michaela would be able to be friends with kids who speak English, to have a yard, to go to a good school, etc. Funny how things change when you have a kid.
--Michaela is sleeping pretty well. She's not sleeping through the night every night, but she is going for long stretches pretty regularly. Last night, she slept 12 hours (very unlike her), though I had to get up twice to pump. Still, I'll take it!
I constantly think of things I want to write about, but then I don't get to it and when I sit down to write updates like these, I can't think of half the things I wanted to write. I'll have to start jotting down notes to myself.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Progress on all fronts
It's amazing how little time I have to blog these days! Maybe that's to be expected...
Michaela is amazing. She's such a sweet baby. She hardly ever cries (unless we let her get breaking point hungry) and she is a good sleeper for the most part. She does grunt a lot, but it seems to be tied to her digestive system. It's interesting, though, because it really feels like she's quiet during the day and her grunting picks up at night. Not sure what that's all about.
Tonight I put her in her bouncer thing, which has a vibrating seat and an activity bar that lights up and plays music. The activity bar has some figures on it that move, and tonight, she followed the movement with her eyes! I am so proud. Mike was outside, so I called him to tell him to come in and see it. He immediately came in and shared my appreciation for what a genius our child is. Not bad considering she's only 3 weeks old, and that she was a month early!
She has been a lot more active lately, opening her eyes more and just having more energy in general. The pediatrician said she looks a lot less jaundiced, and we no longer have to have her bilirubin levels tested. She eats like a champ-- she is drinking probably 4 ounces of milk at a time, which is a lot-- and seems to be going through a growth spurt! When we had her weighed at the pediatrician's office, she was up to 8 lbs, 10 ounces. I was so proud!
Breastfeeding is going a lot better, though I'm still pumping and we're feeding her mostly from the bottle. I had an appointment with a lactation consultant on the 28th and it was a godsend. The consultant suggested I try a nipple shield, and it made a world of difference. Michaela still gets tired or lazy (I'm not sure which) on the boob, but it she latches on easier, stays latched on longer, and it's good for keeping her interested in the breast given all the bottle feeding we're doing. At the consultation, we weighed her before and after I fed, and she drank 2.5 ounces, so I was proud to know she's getting what she needs from me. I am a little concerned about milk volume now, though. When my milk first came in, I had an oversupply. Then I cut back on the pumping and it went way down. Now I'm trying to increase it some so I can have some extra milk on hand, but it hasn't really increased. Or it hasn't seemed to, anyway. So I'm trying to drink more water and to pump regularly, using a technique the lactation consultant showed me, and hopefully my milk will increase a bit soon. Very important, given Michaela's velociraptor appetite!
Mike and I have been doig a good job switching off, so we're both relatively rested. I actually got 7 1/2 consecutive hours of sleep the other night, which is no small feat. A friend of mine told me that she has only gotten that much sleep twice in the 10 months since her son was born. I feel very lucky that Mike has taken on so much and that he's so good at being a parent.
I was feeling really down on myself a week or so ago, because it takes me a long time to do things and because some of this hasn't come as naturally as I expected/feel like it should. By the time you hit 30 years old, you really don't do much that you're not good at anymore. For example, geometry. I suck at geometry, but I don't have to bother with it these days. So I'm really used to being good (if not great) at everything I do, and it's been hard that I have had such a learning curve for so much of this stuff. But I'm trying hard to remind myself that it's only been a few weeks and that sometimes, it takes time to learn and to improve, and that I need to go a little bit easier on myself. Mike was concerned about post-partum depression, and honestly, the thought had crossed my mind, too (after the however many consecutive day of crying multiple times during the day), but I am feeling a lot better now. Thank goodness!
Michaela is amazing. She's such a sweet baby. She hardly ever cries (unless we let her get breaking point hungry) and she is a good sleeper for the most part. She does grunt a lot, but it seems to be tied to her digestive system. It's interesting, though, because it really feels like she's quiet during the day and her grunting picks up at night. Not sure what that's all about.
Tonight I put her in her bouncer thing, which has a vibrating seat and an activity bar that lights up and plays music. The activity bar has some figures on it that move, and tonight, she followed the movement with her eyes! I am so proud. Mike was outside, so I called him to tell him to come in and see it. He immediately came in and shared my appreciation for what a genius our child is. Not bad considering she's only 3 weeks old, and that she was a month early!
She has been a lot more active lately, opening her eyes more and just having more energy in general. The pediatrician said she looks a lot less jaundiced, and we no longer have to have her bilirubin levels tested. She eats like a champ-- she is drinking probably 4 ounces of milk at a time, which is a lot-- and seems to be going through a growth spurt! When we had her weighed at the pediatrician's office, she was up to 8 lbs, 10 ounces. I was so proud!
Breastfeeding is going a lot better, though I'm still pumping and we're feeding her mostly from the bottle. I had an appointment with a lactation consultant on the 28th and it was a godsend. The consultant suggested I try a nipple shield, and it made a world of difference. Michaela still gets tired or lazy (I'm not sure which) on the boob, but it she latches on easier, stays latched on longer, and it's good for keeping her interested in the breast given all the bottle feeding we're doing. At the consultation, we weighed her before and after I fed, and she drank 2.5 ounces, so I was proud to know she's getting what she needs from me. I am a little concerned about milk volume now, though. When my milk first came in, I had an oversupply. Then I cut back on the pumping and it went way down. Now I'm trying to increase it some so I can have some extra milk on hand, but it hasn't really increased. Or it hasn't seemed to, anyway. So I'm trying to drink more water and to pump regularly, using a technique the lactation consultant showed me, and hopefully my milk will increase a bit soon. Very important, given Michaela's velociraptor appetite!
Mike and I have been doig a good job switching off, so we're both relatively rested. I actually got 7 1/2 consecutive hours of sleep the other night, which is no small feat. A friend of mine told me that she has only gotten that much sleep twice in the 10 months since her son was born. I feel very lucky that Mike has taken on so much and that he's so good at being a parent.
I was feeling really down on myself a week or so ago, because it takes me a long time to do things and because some of this hasn't come as naturally as I expected/feel like it should. By the time you hit 30 years old, you really don't do much that you're not good at anymore. For example, geometry. I suck at geometry, but I don't have to bother with it these days. So I'm really used to being good (if not great) at everything I do, and it's been hard that I have had such a learning curve for so much of this stuff. But I'm trying hard to remind myself that it's only been a few weeks and that sometimes, it takes time to learn and to improve, and that I need to go a little bit easier on myself. Mike was concerned about post-partum depression, and honestly, the thought had crossed my mind, too (after the however many consecutive day of crying multiple times during the day), but I am feeling a lot better now. Thank goodness!
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