Buh-bye commute

I officially accepted the offer I got and gave notice at my job. I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more long commute! I counted, and with today's drive being done, I only have to make the drive 8 more times. My boss, and everyone at work, took it really well. They all basically say they will miss me, that I am a great employee/boss/colleague, and that they understand that this is the best decision for my family-- which it is.

Last night, we went to our first childbirth education class (more on that later), and as we learned about the signs of labor to watch for and what to pay attention to, I felt like I had an epiphany. "Oh my god," I thought. "I've been stupidly brave about all this!" What if something happened while I was in the middle of my drive? What if something happened while I was stuck in a traffic jam? What if I was far away (up to 90 miles) from my hospital and my husband? Of course I'd call 911 and would figure something out, and I realize labor can be a process that takes a long time, but this way I'm not tempting fate. Not to mention once the baby is born-- this way I won't have to be so far away from her if something happens. I was doing what I needed to do to keep my job and to do a good job, but as Poppy's birth gets closer and closer, it's time to stop taking chances of this type. So I'm feeling good about my decision, even as I have some apprehension about my new job and the exclusive-work-at-home arrangement that comes with it.

Things are going well

I went to the doctor this morning for a routine appointment and am happy to report that everything is on track. My blood pressure was 122/77-- which is amazing for me!-- and the baby's heartbeat was strong and healthy. I'm not having any weird symptoms except two different types on itching. One is a rash that seems to happen when I get too hot or sweaty. It's gross and uncomfortable, but the doctor said that may just be how I react to being pregnant and that I should 1) try some spray on antiperspirant where I tend to get the rash and 2) be happy it's starting to cool down. The other rash is a little more serious, potentially. The palms of my hands and soles of my feet get red, swollen, and itchy. It may be a sign of problems with my liver or gallbladder, so I am going to have some blood work done in two weeks when I go for my glucose test and rhogam shot. My mom has hepatitis, and the itchy palms and soles is one of her symptoms. I have empathy now, because it's miserable!

All that being said, I'm really pleased with how everything is going. Sure, I complain about the day-to-day frustrations and annoyances, but all in all, it's been an easy pregnancy. I haven't had to worry about "is my baby okay?" "Is my baby going to make it?" or anything else. No cramping, no bleeding, no contractions, no nothing. Smooth sailing. For that, I am very thankful. I honestly didn't think it'd be that way.

My next appointment is towards the end of October, then one in the middle of November. Then I start going more frequently, unless my blood pressure starts acting up, in which case I'll go probably once a week. I'm in the home stretch!

Was that movement?

I'm now 19 weeks and 2 days along. According to the books I've read and people I've talked to, I should be feeling Poppy's movement any day now. Someone told me-- and this makes perfect sense, whether it's medically accurate or not-- that all my movement during the day lulls the baby to sleep, so my best chance of feeling Poppy move (for the time being) is at night. I've laid in bed for the past few nights trying to decide if I feel anything. And then anything I do feel, I think, "is that just stomach discomfort? Gas? Am I even feeling anything?" I've become fairly nervous, though I'm not having any cramps or bleeding, and have continued to have pregnancy symptoms like the occasional morning sickness and ligament pain and swollen feet. We go to the doctor on Wednesday to find out the sex of the baby through an ultrasound, so at least I'll be able to find out soon if everything looks the way it should. I actually also have an appointment on Thursday, just for a regular check up. Should be a Kaiser-filled week.

Cramping?

I was scared when Rey humped on my belly, but that was nothing compared to this morning. I was driving to work and I started feeling a lot of discomfort in my abdomen an pain in my lower back.

I've never really had my period on a regular basis, so I'm never really sure what menstrual cramps feel like, but when I have had discomfort during my period, it's usually pain in my back. Now, given that all of the books I've read talk about menstrual cramp-like cramps being one of the signs of miscarriage, I got really freaked out. REALLY FREAKED OUT. Crying, pull off the freeway freaked out.

Mike and I talked and he gave me the old, "don't worry yourself sick" line, which didn't help at all. I realize that worrying doesn't help, but I can't just shut off my worry button. He suggested I call the nurse advice line, but I wasn't able to pinpoint or really describe the pains to Mike, so I knew I wouldn't do any better with the nurse and there wouldn't be anything he/she could do. Also, I know that before 20 weeks, the fetus isn't really viable, so it's not like they can deliver the baby and try to kep it alive in the NICU; they just have to let it go.

Instead of calling the nurse, I called Dr. Mom, a friend (who is not a doctor) who has been my guiding light and a huge source of information to me throughout this pregnancy. She also told me to calm down and suggested a whole list of other things it could be besides miscarriage. She suggested I go home, lay down, and put a warm cloth or heating pad (on low) on my back. I'd already decided to go home and so that's what I did.

As I type this, I'm propped up in bed. I have a pillow under my knees and am contemplating trying to find my heating pad. I put in a call to my boss to explain to him that I'm not coming in today so I can be close to the hospital, just in case, and I think he'll be understanding. My stomach isn't having discomfort anymore, and the pain is my back has dulled. I'm sure things will be fine, but it was very scary.

I am excited about this pregnancy and happy to be having a baby, but I didn't realize exactly how excited and how happy until I had this scare. I put my hand on my belly and said, "Poppy, you have to stay in there!" Hopefully Poppy will oblige.