Living a Cliche

Everyone has heard the line, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." It's cheesy, and it's lame. It's the classic cheesy, lame break up line. But I have been thinking about it almost nonstop for the last 24 hours.

Mike and I were fighting last night. Again. And he said to me that even when we fight, he loves me, but he feels like maybe I don't love him. That he feels like it's been like this since before we got married. I was gobsmacked. I don't want him to feel that way... But then I started thinking, and I am worried that he's right. I'm worried that I love him, but I'm not in love with him anymore.

When he was gone, I missed him, but not like I've missed him before. I missed his familiar presence. I missed chatting with him and knowing what he was doing. Sort of like I miss my friends when they're not around. I used to feel a soul-sucking loss when he was gone, even if it was just overnight.

Then there's sex. Or rather, there isn't. We used to have a really active sex life and now we don't. I just don't feel much like doing it anymore, and when we do have sex, I mostly want it to be over with as soon as possible. I don't really like to kiss him much anymore-- not with tongue, anyway. I do give him pecks on the cheek or on the mouth all the time.

Of course, things change, so it's not like I expect to feel the same exact degree of passion I felt before, but I guess it's dawned on me how little passion I feel. I love Mike very much. He's a good person and he gave me a gorgeous baby. And I don't *not* want to be with him, I'm just not currently feeling like I absolutely *do* want to. I feel like I'm 80 and in one of those relationships where the passion has faded, but you have good companionship. Except Mike's not content with that, and I know I shouldn't be, either. It's not good for any of us, including Michaela.

Can I get my passion back? And if so, how?