Sleep disturbance

It shouldn't be harder to have Mike here than gone, but right now, it feels like it is. Mike was gone Friday morning through last night on a trip. He was in Vegas, whooping it up with his brothers and I was home with the baby. My mom came over Friday and helped me with her, and I went to her house Monday so she could help while I was on conference calls for work, but I spent all of the nights taking care of Michaela myself.

Mike gets back last night and is pooped. Of course he is, all he did was drink and gamble and walk and party for four days. Still, he "generously" offers to get up with Michaela in the middle of the night. We put her down at about 9 p.m. At 12:30 a.m., I get up to pump. Mike is still awake. At 2:30, Michaela gets up and Mike changes and feeds her (feeds her in our bed, which I have specifically asked him not to do). At 5:30, I get up to pump again. At 7, Michaela wakes up hungry. I ask Mike to feed her and he says he's tired. I remind him that he said he'd get up with her and he says he only said he'd do it at night and that it was now morning. I asked him to do it anyway. He gets up, pops a pacifier in her mouth and comes back to bed. She proceeds to make noise and suck loudly on her hand for the next half hour, a time period in which I can't go back to sleep because all I can hear is my baby. I don't blame Michaela-- she was hungry. So at 7:30, I get up and feed her. Mike promptly goes back to sleep. It's now a little after 8 and I'm up for the day. I can't go back to sleep once I get up at this time of the morning.

I am pissed off because I have to get up multiple times a night EVERY NIGHT, whether Michaela sleeps through it or not. And I manage. I'm pissed because I know that he's tired, but he has no one to blame but himself. He got to sleep full nights of sleep, 3 nights in a row. He could have partied less hard if it was going to be so difficult for him to get up. He could have gone to bed before 1:30 last night. I am pissed off because it's chicken shit to pull the "I'm tired" card without any regard to the fact that I was the only one getting up with her while he was gone and that I have to get up multiple times a night every night. It would have been a really nice gesture on his part to suck it up and get up. Not to mention the fact that he can take a nap today during the day. I can't because I will be working.

That's what I mean when I say it should be easier when he's here than harder.